Jean's space











{May 18, 2011}   Beautiful

Beautiful

 

I remember being a young girl

Wanting to fit in

Thinking pounds of makeup would make me pretty

So unsure of myself

With no self-esteem

I had no clue

That just being me

Was more than enough

It was

 

Beautiful

 

Wanting so bad to fit in

I let myself believe that going by a different name

Would make me pretty

And make people want to be around me

So first I went by Gina,

Then I changed the spelling to Gena

Then to Jeanna

Not realizing that no one really cares how it is spelled

And no matter what

My real name is enough

It is

Beautiful

 

As I grew up

I began to learn

Friendship

Isn’t about quantity

It’s more about quality

It was a lesson I had to learn on my own

Through a lot of abuse

Being used most of the time

Yet among the users and abusers

Without realizing it there was a few

Who were true

With them though it wasn’t about the makeup

The hair or the name

It was about me

The real me

And from them and my family

I learned that

Just being my self is

 

Beautiful

 

So Gina, Gena and Jeanna well they are gone

It’s Jean now

And I am proud of that

I am proud of who I am

And even if I don’t have an army of friends

The ones I do have

I am happy to have because for the first time

I can honestly say

They are true friends

Who like me for me

And that right there

Is more than good it is

 

Beautiful

 

So now the makeup is minimal

Just enough to enhance the beauty that is already there

I wear my hair however I like

I don’t worry about fitting in

I believe that if it is meant to be then

It will be because I am being me

Not the person I used to think everyone wanted me to be

Now I know that

While the fake me yeah she was pretty

Where the real me is more

Because I am

 

Beautiful

 

By: Jean Bonella Shular

 

Here is to being who you are and loving it. Not letting anyone tell you who you should be. Here is to being Beautiful.

 

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